The story of the moment I get retrenched.

It’s only been 11 month since I’m start working with my current company when I get knock with an abrupt news by UK management, Job Redundancy. The director flew in from UK just to announce the retrenchment plan and the minute I read the distributed paper, I knew it, I’m one of the employee which will be let go. At that time, I feel nothing and trying hard to digest what is really happening. Then it hits me and it’s become surreal, I AM GOING TO LOSE MY JOB.

For the entire week, none of us can do our work. We keep talking and talking about this, wondering why so sudden, and ultimate question who will be let go? People start to speculate who will stay and who will go. There are some even volunteered to be retrench. But for me, I knew I’m definitely make into the list, why? Because all the machine I’m working on will be completely transfer to UK. No point for me to keep having hope that I will stay.

They announce the retrenchment on April, but the commencement date will be on October. In a way it’s quite generous for the company to give 6 months buffer time for us to find another job, but it doesn’t change the fact it’s not easy to get a job in this challenging year. What does I feel at the moment? Restless and rushing to get a job. Second day after announcement, I came to work, switch on the PC and immediately update my resume. Not enough Jobstreet, I sign up to other sites, Monster, JenJob etc. In a day, I could apply more than 10 jobs. I just briefly scroll job description, requirement and hit apply button. In a way, I just blindly apply. The uncertainty really hit the nerves at that time.

After 2 weeks, the heat doesn’t cool down, people still keep speculating, all kinds of rumour floating around the company. Suddenly it hits me, I do not properly embrace my feeling, I’m too rush to find another job that I failed to think carefully what is my next moves or what actually I want to do. Since I started working 5 years ago, I don’t have a period where I never worked and the longest leave I ever take is 2 weeks. Then, I stop. Stop updating any job sites, apply any job and I just process the event from the start. Then I begin to feel abandon, frustration and lost.

All the dedication, hard work and extra effort I make have no meaning to the company and it makes me feel very angry and the way they announce it makes me feel so upset. There are many kind of reactions from people in this company, but of course mostly it is negative. Then I told myself, it’s good I feel this, I have to accept and move on. In order to move on, I must acknowledge that I am hurt with everything that happened. Well different people, different coping technique. This is my way of moving on.

After a month of waiting, finally they announcing the retrenchment’s name list. At this point, I’m willingly to accept it and even went to celebrate it. Boss let us have half day leave and we went to cinema, do window shopping and have coffee. If not all of us accepting it, at least I am.

Now at 3rd week of May, I feel really bored and just wish I got new job as soon as possible. But at the same time, I want to wait till October for the compensation. My planning is I want to start searching for job seriously on Aug and start on Oct. But the fear of not getting new job by Oct, makes me feel anxious. I start to calculate all my expenses, keep thinking what should I reduce or eliminate. I’m also start looking for part time job which still have no good news or accurately I don’t know what I want to do. I’m still working on that.

Nowadays coming to work have become a task on its own and I feel really demotivated. There is nothing to do at work. My job is involve new product and improvement. There is no improvement and product to build for downsizing company isn’t it? Everyday I’m thinking what should I do to fill up all this time at work. Thankfully I still have one last project to complete since we already started it. We keep stretching the time to complete it just in case we have nothing to do later. But by the looks of the progress, its only going to take another 2 weeks to complete. After that? Let time decide.

I start to plan some traveling and become quite obsessive. Everyday I keep on researching for this particular trip. At least I have something to do at work, right? Not for company but for me. I really like to do research and planning, as this also a part of my job. What I plan now, first find a job, go for travel (not like company care whether I come to work or not, just my salary will be deducted, then I also don’t care) and start new job with clear head.

Till Oct, 20 weeks to go..